After writing on my blog about the "Mother" archetype, I began to reflect on female relationships and my own relationships with women. For the most part, I have been very blessed in my life to have had wonderful relationships with women. Of course, like everyone else I have made my own share of mistakes. But by in large, for the first 35 years of my life, I made good choices which have allowed me to enjoy long ties with wonderful friends and family members who I value as the goddesses in my life.However, over the last five years much has changed for me personally. Many of my newer relationships have ended due to the pioneering spirit of many who move here...people who move across Canada, simply like to move and have new experiences. Many friends have returned to home provinces, or moved to the states or other countries. Others have moved on from single life and into marriage and children , changing relationships with single friends. Still other's have been immersed in professional development. The common thread that once united us, has also taken us in separate directions.
Death has away of showing you who your friends are. The Wise Woman archetype first surfaced for me four years ago when my father died. I returned to my place of birth for my father's funeral and I had no idea what to expect. Much to my surprise, my best friend in adolescence Rosemarie, had called all of my old school chums many who I hadn't seen since high school, and all of them showed up from great distances to see me. I was speechless. To this day, I owe Rosemarie a tremendous amount of gratitude. You see, we had drifted apart in our 20's, neither being able to relate to the other. I went away to university and Rosemarie didn't-she took another life-filled path. At the time, it didn't seem that our paths were really destined to be close again, as I eventually moved to the other side of the country. We lost touch.
While I was at home I had a dream:
I walk into a restaurant and sitting at the table were my girlfriends from high school. They are excited to see me and it feels like a surprise birthday party. I sit down and now all of them are really old women handing me gifts and a cake is on the table with many candles.
I wake up.
Its interesting to me that since that time my life has changed dramatically, and for better or worse, there has been a lot of grief and loss.
Another close friend who I met 13 years ago living in Vancouver has been a constant source of friendship, comfort and reassurance to me. Both Vicky and her partner Carl, have been with me through the good times and bad, through the loss of my father and the grieving of my mother and close family. Yesterday, we had a long conversation by telephone about our mothers and losses in life, including our childhood losses. There are very few people in this world that we can share such personal parts of ourselves. For all my loss, the gold remains and this is what recognizing the "old wise woman archetype" is all about. Again, my gratitude goes out to Vicky and her wise presence in my life.
Dream from last night:
I am on Granville street looking up towards the long road to the care facility. There are many people on the street and out of the crowd this ancient, woman walks up to me. I am frightened because I believe her to be a corpse, but she puts her arms right around me and hugs me.
My goal is to remember that when I feel afraid of death, loss, aging, disappointment and female relationships in general, that the crone-the goddess -the wise old woman is always available to me and is a uniting force in my life and all women's lives.
Peace,
Colleen
With gratitude to the artwork of Jen Delyth. Her beautiful Celtic designs can be purchased @
http://www.kelticdesigns.com/
